You Ever Just Have One Of Those Days?
You ever just have one of those days when life just feels unfair and you kinda feel forgotten? Well I am kinda feeling that way. You know when you sign on as a mom that there will be things you have to give up and that you are no longer the priority. Which is the way that it should be, it's just that once in a while self-pity...or maybe just exhaustion, bubbles up to the top. Today has been a good day all around, it is my husbands first day on days off which is always a happy day, we spent time as a family and got somethings done in town with very little hassle (always a bonus), but started to feel a little *blah*. As women most of us understand that feeling.
Today my self pity comes from the fact that I hardly ever get to go anywhere by myself. I realize that having young children requires a lot of my time and attention, especially with an infant who is nursing, but why is it that the only time I get to go and do something on my own is when I have reach the point I am at right now, exhausted and grumpy. That is when my husband finally decides that maybe he can take the baby while I leave, but usually I end up feeling rushed to get home to "save" him from her cries. I sometimes just get tired. I know that going to work everyday is exhausting for my husband too, so I try very hard to make sure he gets to do things he wants to do, but why does that sometimes leave me feeling like the martyr. Always giving for everyone else...I mean isn't that what women are supposed to do, but then we end up resenting those who we are giving to. I just feel stuck sometimes and I feel selfish for asking for something for me when I know it puts someone else out.
I am sorry to all of you who don't want to hear me complain that is fine you don't have to read this, I just usually feel better after getting my thoughts out of my head and onto paper...or I guess a computer screen now.
I think some of this is magnified by the fact that I sometimes feel lonely. We have lived here 2 years and most of my friends live 2 or more hour away. I have some closer friends and probably just need to make more of an effort to see them but they are busy too. I don't know why all this is coming up just where I am at at the moment.
To add a smile to my blog today here is a picture of my little ones getting a ride in the laundry basket with dad pulling. My 2 yr old was riding by himself when he got out and ran to where his sister was playing on the floor and was trying to pick her up so she could share is his fun. (he really is a sweet little boy)
I should go my little one thinks that her world is ending. Please don't feel sorry for me, I just needed to vent and unfortunately this is my outlet.
Just having a lonely mommy day.
Today my self pity comes from the fact that I hardly ever get to go anywhere by myself. I realize that having young children requires a lot of my time and attention, especially with an infant who is nursing, but why is it that the only time I get to go and do something on my own is when I have reach the point I am at right now, exhausted and grumpy. That is when my husband finally decides that maybe he can take the baby while I leave, but usually I end up feeling rushed to get home to "save" him from her cries. I sometimes just get tired. I know that going to work everyday is exhausting for my husband too, so I try very hard to make sure he gets to do things he wants to do, but why does that sometimes leave me feeling like the martyr. Always giving for everyone else...I mean isn't that what women are supposed to do, but then we end up resenting those who we are giving to. I just feel stuck sometimes and I feel selfish for asking for something for me when I know it puts someone else out.
I am sorry to all of you who don't want to hear me complain that is fine you don't have to read this, I just usually feel better after getting my thoughts out of my head and onto paper...or I guess a computer screen now.
I think some of this is magnified by the fact that I sometimes feel lonely. We have lived here 2 years and most of my friends live 2 or more hour away. I have some closer friends and probably just need to make more of an effort to see them but they are busy too. I don't know why all this is coming up just where I am at at the moment.
To add a smile to my blog today here is a picture of my little ones getting a ride in the laundry basket with dad pulling. My 2 yr old was riding by himself when he got out and ran to where his sister was playing on the floor and was trying to pick her up so she could share is his fun. (he really is a sweet little boy)
I should go my little one thinks that her world is ending. Please don't feel sorry for me, I just needed to vent and unfortunately this is my outlet.
Just having a lonely mommy day.
Sometimes my wish is not that I could go somewhere alone, it's that I could be in the house alone.
ReplyDeleteOh, dear friend, I can identify! Know that you are loved, you are appreciated, and that everything you are doing matters. We mommies do lead a lonely existence sometimes, but our reward will be great in Heaven. I know that beyond the shadow of a doubt! *hugs*
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