Evaluating The Mother Role
So this weekend my mom and I rented The Help. I had heard that it was good and seems my husband would be going to bed early I could get away with it. (Even though he probably would have been ok wth it.) As I was watching...with my box of kleenex, it made me really examine my role as a mother. It broke my heart to watch how the mothers in the movie were so content to let someone else raise their children and give them the love that they so desperately need. Mothers who ulitmately neglected the needs of their children in their own selfishness.
I have a huge pet peeve and that is when people have children and then are not committed to raising, caring and giving them what they need despite the inconvenience that they can cause. But after watching The Help I was challenged to make my own children a priority all the time. This will mean less Facebook and Pintrest and more time spent on the floor driving trucks and wrestling :) eventually it will involve dolls too I am sure. The largest challenge I think I face as a mother is not the wasted time spent away from my kids but the time spent getting things done that need to be done, like cleaning, cooking and general house upkeep. Now I know that my kids can spend time by themselves playing and it is good for them, but is that all that they do? Am I too busy for them, too busy to show them that I am interested in them and what they are doing, too busy DOING things rather then just BEING with them. Finding that balance is difficult and I am sure that I will never have it figured out, because the world needs to keep turning, dishing keep needing to be done, but my children need my time and attention as well. It is my challenge to give both the attention they need, as it was my decision to bring these little lives into the world, they had no choice in the matter, so it is my responsibility that they feel loved, accepted and more important then a clean counter and folded laundry. Of course feeding them and cleaning their laundry is love too, but you all know what I mean.
I never want someone else to have to raise my kids for me, I want them to always know that I wanted them and still want them, despite the fact that sometimes they get in the way of what "I" want! One day they will be gone and I will have all the time in the world to do what I want, but I am sure by then the clean counters and folded laundry will be great but leave me a little lonely!
It is my goal to let my children know everyday "You is kind, you is smart, you is important!"
I have a huge pet peeve and that is when people have children and then are not committed to raising, caring and giving them what they need despite the inconvenience that they can cause. But after watching The Help I was challenged to make my own children a priority all the time. This will mean less Facebook and Pintrest and more time spent on the floor driving trucks and wrestling :) eventually it will involve dolls too I am sure. The largest challenge I think I face as a mother is not the wasted time spent away from my kids but the time spent getting things done that need to be done, like cleaning, cooking and general house upkeep. Now I know that my kids can spend time by themselves playing and it is good for them, but is that all that they do? Am I too busy for them, too busy to show them that I am interested in them and what they are doing, too busy DOING things rather then just BEING with them. Finding that balance is difficult and I am sure that I will never have it figured out, because the world needs to keep turning, dishing keep needing to be done, but my children need my time and attention as well. It is my challenge to give both the attention they need, as it was my decision to bring these little lives into the world, they had no choice in the matter, so it is my responsibility that they feel loved, accepted and more important then a clean counter and folded laundry. Of course feeding them and cleaning their laundry is love too, but you all know what I mean.
I never want someone else to have to raise my kids for me, I want them to always know that I wanted them and still want them, despite the fact that sometimes they get in the way of what "I" want! One day they will be gone and I will have all the time in the world to do what I want, but I am sure by then the clean counters and folded laundry will be great but leave me a little lonely!
It is my goal to let my children know everyday "You is kind, you is smart, you is important!"
Very true and one of my biggest struggles, spending time with the kids. Sometimes I think of what they will remember from their childhood and I don't want it to be an "absent in mind" parent.
ReplyDeleteIt really is a constant battle, isn't it? I was trying to get some laundry and dishes done yesterday, and Michaela was NOT impressed with my efforts! I'm sure she would be happiest if I did nothing but read to her, build block towers for her to smash and sing silly songs with her. I know that one day, my house will be clean again. There won't be a high chair to clean, there won't be diapers in need of stuffing and there won't be little bits of leftover spaghetti (or peas...or squash...or whatever food you want to insert here) stuck to my walls, floors, table or wherever else it magically chooses to appear. :) But by then, she won't want me to play with her anymore. Silly songs will invoke eye rolling, she will read her own books, and the blocks will likely have found their way into another set of little hands. Hmm...all this reminds me of the song "Cinderella" by Steven Curtis Chapman. :) May God give us all discernment, grace, patience and good play skills in the days to come!
ReplyDeleteI always think about our moms and how they would play games with us. We were really blessed in that way. Dassa loves when I get down on the floor with her (though I am doing it less and less because it is getting pretty hard to get up). Perhaps it was because our mom's gave us so much positive attention why we never really got embarrassed or tired of them around.
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